THE SORTING HAT: Heroes of the Marvel Cinematic Universe
One thing I enjoy doing is trying to sort different people and characters into Hogwarts Houses, so I've been wanting to do this feature for awhile. Every month, I will sort a new group of characters in THE SORTING HAT. Since this is Marvel week with Avengers: Endgame opening Thursday evening, I thought we'd start this one with the heroes of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (I'd do villains, but, let's face it, their ambition place them all within Slytherin). Let me know if you agree or disagree! Although, as a Hufflepuff myself, I won't have people into berating my house. So, be nice.
Tony Stark could have been Ravenclaw for his thirst for knowledge as an inventor - the Davinci of our time. But, he has always been a man driven by his ambition and hubris. Because of this, he let loose upon the world the A.I. Ultron as well as was partially responsible for Extremis. While his later actions might sort him into Gryffindor for his more heroic actions, his need to exceed will always put him into Slytherin.
Most people would easily sort Captain America into Gryffindor for his heroic nature. Even when he was skinny Steve Rogers, he fought against all odds to do the right thing. So, I get it. But, a key trait to Hufflepuff is loyalty. And his devotion to his friend Bucky Barnes is remarkable. He even went against his own teammates to go to the end of the line for him. For that reason, I would sort Captain America into Hufflepuff.
Black Widow, as a spy, exhibits the common traits of cunning and resourcefulness from the Slytherin House. She also exhibits a slight level of hubris as she approaches all her missions with an almost cocky grace. She uses what she can to get the job done.
Thor is easy. While he does exhibit a level of arrogance as the God of Thunder, his goal is always to be the hero. He rises above all his familial drama to do good in the world. As most of the warrior gods of Asgard, Thor easily fits into Gryffindor lest he risk being able to enter the halls of Valhalla.
If ever there was an easy house to sort a hero into, it's Bruce Banner. He is driven by knowledge and the ability to bring his inventiveness for the betterment of the team. For this, he is sorted into Ravenclaw. Now, his green friend, however, is entirely different. The Hulk would most likely be sorted into Gryffindor for housing Banner's bravery and courage. While he has a temper, it is more out of childlike tantrums than any kind of ambition.
Like Captain America, it would be easy to sort Hawkeye into Gryffindor. But, his key trait really is loyalty, whether that be the S.H.I.E.L.D., to the Avengers, his family or even Captain America when he came out of retirement for him during Captain America: Civil War. For that reason, I sort Hawkeye into Hufflepuff.
I think when we first met Scarlet Witch in Avengers: Age of Ultron, I would have sorted her into Slytherin for her blind ambition to destroy the Avengers. But, after she realized she was being duped by Ultron and, subsequently, through her relationship with the Vision, I think she is Ravenclaw for her willingness to learn and be creative with her power.
The Vision was created by the Mind Stone and, as a synthetic humanoid, he is driven by logic. While he has tapped into a more emotional part of himself due to his relationship with the Scarlet Witch, this still demonstrates the Ravenclaw trait of learning. He will always be driven by knowledge.
Once again we have a hero that could easily be sorted into Gryffindor, but the reason why I ultimately sort him into Hufflepuff is because of his blind faith to Captain America. At the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, he lent himself to search for Bucky. And, during Captain America: Civil War, there was no doubt as to where he would fall. For me, he is easily Hufflepuff.
As a decorated and dedicated soldier, War Machine is easily sorted into Gryffindor. He takes his duty seriously and does not take it for granted. While he does exhibit the Hufflepuff trait for his loyalty to country, deep down, he knows what is right and what it means to be a hero. This is why he helped the exiled Avengers over following orders in Avengers: Infinity War.
Star-Lord may appear the loveable buffoon and his love of money might sway him a bit toward Slytherin, but, let's get things straight, he is a hero deep down. The best example of this was when he ultimately broke free of his father's grip to rule the universe. His role of guardian of the galaxy superseded all else. Therefore, I sort him into Gryffindor.
Of all the Guardians of the Galaxy, I think Gamora fits quite easily into Gryffindor. It is she he keeps the team who tend to sway Slytherin on the straight and narrow. She is unafraid of her father and will do all that she can to stop him. When it came down to seeing her sister destroyed, she gave up important information to Thanos to save her. She is a true hero.
While Drax may exhibit the heroicism of Gryffindor, his ambition to kill Thanos gets in his way. In both Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers: Infinity War, we see he would do anything to get his way, even to the detriment of his team mates. For this temperment, I have sorted him into Slytherin.
While I might sort Rocket into Ravenclaw for his role as the team inventor (the guy can whip up a bomb like no other), it is more his cunning and resourcefulness that put him into the house of Slytherin. His temperment and his ambition to make money also place him into this house.
Groot serves as a loyal companion to Rocket Raccoon and the rest of his fellow Guardians of the Galaxy. When the rest of the team were in mortal danger, he sacrificed himself to save them all, proclaiming the ultimate phrase of loyalty, "We are Groot." He is definitely Hufflepuff.
Mantis represents the caring aspects of the Guardians of the Galaxy. She took care of Ego since she was a little girl and she transferred that care unto her new team. Also, she demonstrates honesty, having eventually built the courage to tell the truth about her master's nefarious plans. Mantis is Hufflepuff.
Nebula, while on some levels could be seen as Gryffindor, her temperament is wrong. She has the ambition to kill her father and will do anything to achieve that goal. Aside from that, she has the resourcefulness, brokering deals along the way to achieve this goal. Therfore, she is Slytherin.
While I think Ant-Man shows signs of traits from both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, we have to remember that before Ant-Man became a burglar, he worked as an engineer. And, he was always tinkering around with his tech to try to make it better. Yes, he can be a lovable lunk, but, I think his knowledge based skills make him a Ravenclaw.
Wasp could be Ravenclaw due to her interest in science, but, I think she is ultimately Gryffindor. She has always wanted to follow in her parents' footsteps to become a hero. She is smart and brave and gets the job done. Nothing is going to stop her from being the hero she is.
I might sort Doctor Strange into Ravenclaw because of his work involves constantly learning new magical spells. But, the man has a level of arrogance and he takes his role as Sorcerer Supreme very seriously. Almost so much so that he lets blind ambition get in his way. For that reason, I sort him into Slytherin.
Spider-Man could definitely be a Gryffindor, but I think, since he goes to a school of science and technology that he tends to be a little more knowledge based. He developed his own web fluid which shows his ingenuity. While he can sometimes get in his way to be a hero, I think his use of knowledge makes him Ravenclaw.
Black Panther is a seriously powerful and brave warrior, serving as both King and protector of the sovereign nation of Wakanda. He demonstrates the chivalry of being a King and the bravery, courage and nerve as being the Black Panther. If ever there was a Gryffindor, it would be Black Panther. He is hero through and through.
If ever there was a Ravenclaw, it would be Shuri. As her brother's Q, she is in charge of coming up with the technology for the Panther King and the Kingdom of Wakanda. She is sharp and driven by her interest in science and technology.
Okoye, as general of the Dora Milaje, the elite group of warrior women of Wakanda, is a hero through and through. She views her job of protecting the nation as seriously as Black Panther himself and exhibits the bravery to handle any force that comes their way. She is Gryffindor for sure.
I think, while M'Baku exhibits Gryffindor traits being brave and strong and a fierce warrior for himself and his nation, his ambition to be leader will always get in his way. Although he's forged an alliance with Black Panther and the other tribes of Wakanda, his allegiance is always to Jabari. For those reasons, I sort M'Baku into Slytherin.
While Nakia, as a spy, could be seen as possessing the Slytherin traits of cunning and resourcefulness, I think its ultimately her creativity and her willingness to learn, especially from the areas outside of Wakanda to where she has traveled, ultimately makes her a Ravenclaw.
While Valkyrie wallowed in her fears from the attack by Hela decimating her fellow Valkyrie, at the end of the day, as a member of the elite fighting force of Asgard, she ultimately demonstrates the bravery and courage to do the right thing and fight with Thor. For this reason, she is sorted into Gryffindor.
"Nevertheless, she persisted" is the mantra for Captain Marvel. Her entire life, she was told she was not good enough. And during her life on Hala, she was told to not use her emotions. Yet, she always fought past these challenges. She is the epitome of bravery, courage and chivalry. She is easily Gryffindor.
Harry Potter, Sorting Hat and Hogwarts are copyright J.K. Rowling. This opinions in this feature are solely our own and do not represent Ms. Rowling. The feature is only meant for parody and fun.